She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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