I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
