Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
