just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
