Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
