There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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