Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
