Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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