So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
