I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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