Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
