I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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