Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
