He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
