i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Buhtt sex?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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