Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
