My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
