Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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