About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
