No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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