i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
