I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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