I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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