Hey man sorry I got all grabby
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
