I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
