Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
