someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
