you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
