Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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