it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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