She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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