Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ttyl tear gas
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
