That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
