in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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