What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
