he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
