Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
