Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My dick has a subreddit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
