So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
