Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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