I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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