i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
