Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
