her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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