why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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