ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
