I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
