This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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