Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
