erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
3 2 1 whiskey
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
