my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
