I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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