so explain again why im purple
no
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
