I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
